So its been a good eight onths since I last posted so here is a summary of my life since then.
I moved out of my exes place.
Lost seventy pounds.
Cut all my hair off
My wife moved to B.C to live with her boyfriend
I've lost and gained some friends
Me and Nina hooked up.
We've been together for 8 mnths now, actually hooking up like a week after my last post and have been happy together ever since

I dont really have much else to say so we'll leave it t that

Current Mood: bouncy

So, me and my boyfriend broke up again.
For keeps this time.
We both know that we're best suited as friends so it's all okay.
We want different things in life.
He; small town life.
Me; big city living.
He; an Alberta patch worker
Me; Vancouver's (hopefully) first Cosplay Cafe owner.
The only thing we seem to have in common at the moment is what we want in bed.
Girls.
I have this female friend that recently has been catching my eye.
Today I found out that I turn her head as much as she does mine.
After a day of being curled up together, holding hands and watching movies with the occasional neck biting sesion thrown in for good measure, she comes out and says something that had me giddy with happiness.
'Why do I always fall for the nerds?'
Oh yes, I am super nerd.
So much of a super nerd in fact, that she calls me by my cosplay alter all the time.
Even she admits that I'm a nerd.
More that once I wanted to reach down and kiss her, but I didn't.
Fuck.
When nine rolled around and we were both still curled up together fighting off sleep, I knew that she'd be staying the night.
Well, plans changed at nine thirty when my boss calls and informs me that on my first day off after six on and with no sleep whatsoever, I was going to work.
Ever seen a hotel employee go postal?
Would you like to?
After this phone call my friend, whom we shall call Nina, opened her arms to me and just let me cry my bloody eyes out.
I am so rediculously over worked that my chances of ever having a relationshit with Nina the blue eyed Angel would be slim.
We work conflicting hours you see.
I am tired enough to feel totally bipolar right now and have enough mud like coffee running through my veins that I actually think I can make it through the next five hours without putting my head on the desk and effectively dying right there.
I also think that seeing as the devil himself could not drag me to work tomorrow, I am going to spend the afternoon with Nina like we planned.
She told me to call her tomorrow and I plan on doing just that.
P.S: This song reminds me of Nina

Current Mood: sleepy

Before I write this journal entry, let me make one thing perfectly clear; the names have been changed to respect the right of my friends, but the events are true.

Sex with strangers is a fun thing to do. 
You go out to the bar, pick up a guy or girl, take them home and have fun; no strings attatched.
Sex with good friends is a very weird thing.
Friday night I went to the bar with my roommate and ex, J.C and my friends Lisa, Greg and Ashley.
Things were great, I have been drinking since three thirty PM that day because Lisa brought sambucca to my house after I got off work and proceeded to get me plastered with it.
At the bar, I danced alot and met up with this guy I wanted to sleep with for a while; Jamie.
Jamie and me sat and talked on the sofas in the bar, while Lisa sat on my lap and Greg disappeared.
Now, Ashley and Greg are engaged and have been together for a while, but they fight like cat and dog.
At least once a week she is sitting on my squishy chair crying and it's always the same story.
"I don't know what to do Squish, he's always doing this to me!"
Don't worry, he's not a cheater or anything, he's just super insensitive.
Ashley can't even suggest they do something other than what he wants or he freaks out and tells her he's leaving.
Well, back to the point.
Ashley came and sat down, a grim look on her face.
She waved two fingers in front of her face, indicating she wanted to go outside and have a smoke, so Lisa hopped off my lap and we three girls went outside.
As I lit my cigarette, Ashley blurted that Greg had suggested a threesome to her and wanted me to be the third.
I almost dropped my smoke.
She told me that she really didn't want to have one, but Greg flipped out when she told him no.
Lisa is very affectionate, so she unwrapped an arm from around me and put it around Ashley.
I told her that under no circumstances would that ever happen wih the three of us, and that he's just being a guy.
This made her smile enough to go back inside and dance with Lisa and me.
As the night wound down, everyone but Greg was ready to go, and when we looked for him, we knew why.
A bar ho was sucking on his neck.
Ashley flipped and we didn't blame her.
We all left the bar to go to 7 11 cause Lisa was hungry.
After she had gotten something to eat, Lisa brushed all out suggestions to walk her home off and we left.
The morning after the night before, I stumble out of bed, realize I did sleep with Jamie and go into the living room.
Greg was standing there grinning at me.
"Lisa was pissed off at you." He says. "I think it's becuase you ditched her for a guy."
"She ditched us." I said. "She didn't want any of us to walk home."
Well, later tha day when I went home, my roommate bitched me out.
Apparently it's clear to everyone but me that Lisa has a thing for me and was pissed because I took a guy home and not her.
He went on to tell me that she was serious when she suggested showering together the day before, and that the kisses that she always gave me, she meant.
Fuck, even GREG could tell, but I always brushed him off when he told us to 'go dyke out' elsewhere.
I just thought Lisa was affectionate, not into me.
Well, hopefully I can fix this thing before it gets to hard to fix because I really, really like her too.

Help and suggestions of hos I should breach this subject with her without loosing her would be appreciated.

Squish x

Current Mood: confused

Wow, long time no post huh?
I'm siting in my living room, drunk off my ass and wavering between watching South Park the Movie and listening to the Cuppycake song.
Please, ignore the misspellings.
I am really drunk, and now listening to UVERWorld. 
Japanese music fucking rocks dude!
So lyke oh em gee, my roommate/ex boyfriend hates Death Note!~!!!!!
How is that even fucking possible!?
Death Note is like the most awesoimeest anime ever with the acception of Naruto Shippuden.
Sole reason for that being my fave is that Sasori and Dei-Dei totally rock my fucking sox!
Oh my days I love Miyavi~
Okay, so I was like cooking before and brb I need the bathroom.
Kay, so my roommate is confusing the hell outta me!
For all intents and purposes we're in a relationship without the word ya know?
And now I'm getting a lecture on Meer Campbell and her reason for dying.
I hate Gundam and I don't give a flying monkey fuck.
Okay, I totally love this fucking song!
Haha, I got bitched oput for singing What Husts the most by Rascall Flatts.
Oh my gosh this smoke is soo damn good!
Almost better than my rum and Dr Pecker.
Almost.
Okay, have you ever had a Pussy Doctor?
You take 4 ounces of Raspberry Sour Puss and 16 ounces of Dr Pepper.
Fucking awesosme drink that me and Brandy invented in B.C when we were stoned out of our gourd.
OMG I got to watch Kazekge Gaara on Naruto tonight!!!!!
OMG Kiba is so goddamned hott!!!!!!!
Can you belive that I have to wait a whole damned week tyo find out if Kabuto is Sai's brother on Shippiden?
Okay, I need more alcomabooze and sone good SasuNaru fanfics as well as finish the next chapter to my GaaNaru fanfic Poster Boy!
Ja Ne my little puppets!

Current Mood: drunk

I have suffered a great tragedy. 
My precious laptop; Speedy, died yesterday, taking with it unfinished chapters of most of my fanfics, dozens of pictures and pieces of my broken heart.
I lived for that laptop and now it's gone.
I think I may indeed just go ahead and cry.
This is a extremely short post because I am mourning the death of Speedy.

Current Mood: depressed

I've just downed another shot ot Sambucca and I feel great!
A little bored and still suffering from writers block but great!
Currently listening to Ika Summer by Orange Range and contemplating lighting a smoke.
My Japanese tutor told me today that my obsession with Orange Range is actually helping me learn.
Yay me, I'm actually doing something worth my time for once.
I'm also talking to my friend in China, I don't know what part, but his name is Sun Yun Peng.
He's awesome!
Damn, the booze is starting to go to my head a little.
Sun is just wonderful, he wants to meet me when I got to China in  like three years and my boyfriend just reprimanded me for singing very loudly in Japanese while he's in bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is not to sing when I love the song ans a quarter of a bottle of Sambucca is running through me?
Damn, Hiroki is hot and this song is awesome!
I think Ryou sings most of it, and Yamato too!
Yay! Sun wants to meet me when I go to China, he lives in Da Lian.
I have to pee.
Okay I don't have to pee more but I do need more of this alcomahol!
Ever notice how specific alcohol tastes like specific things?
Sambucca tastes like black liqourice, amaretto tastes like almonds...etc...
Okay, maybe it's just Italian booze.
I can't wait to taste sambucca in Italy next year!
And sake in Japan three years from now.
That's going to be one of the highlights of my trip to Japan I think.
I have a few things I must do while I'm there;  try sake, shop in the Harajuku district and buy as much anime merchadise as they will allow me on the plane.
Oh and buy tons of CD's!
Okay, I can barely find the keys now.

Current Mood: drunk

Damn, I'm bored out of my skull.
I'm sitting here at work, trying my best to plan a six week trip to Europe and Brandy is teting me asking me what MCR song best describes me and wondering why George isn't texting me and I'd rather be at home and in bed.
Did I happen to mention I'm bored?
Watching Sex and the City earlier with my old man and they were talking about what fantasy you *ahem* to.
It had me thinking; if I could have any guy in the world, who would it be?
Hiroki Hokama.
I'm drooling at the meer thought of him.
He has the most gorgeous face and his pouty lips make me want to just eat him.
In case you were wondering who this strange man is; he's the mid range singer for the Japanese band Orange Range.
Language barrier be damn, I wanna fuck that man!
I just want five minutes alone with him...
I don't think I'd ever want to leave.
His voice sends shivers up my spine and he has the most adorable mole just above his left eyebrow and fuck me is he ever hot!
Okay, I'm seriously crushing on him!

Current Mood: working

Next year, I'm going to live my dream.
I'm going to be backpacking across Europe.
Me and my friend Brandy were on our way to Red Deer when we started talknig about our trip to London next year.
She's never been and I want to go home.
Well, she said she wanted to see Paris and I told her we could, and then I said if we had time, we could see Amsterdam. 
After like an hour or so of talknig, we decided that we were going to take six weeks and travel across Europe.
So now I am pushing myself to get in shape so that I can walk across the beaches of Spain and Italy in nothing but a bikini.
Yay me!
First stop is London so I can see my family and friends, then we're getting the Eurostar to Paris, then Madrid, then Rome.
If we have time, we're going to Amsterdam.
I can honestly say I have never been more excited about anything.

I am sooo fucking tired as I write this.
Not your run of the mill 'I could use a nap' tired, but 'Oh my, is that my pillow calling?' tired.
Reason: I have been up and on the run since one o' clock this morning.
It's now half past ten.
At one this morning I got a call from work.
The printer had packed up.
Now, we need the printer to work with; it is essential to do the job.
So, I got out of bed, dressed and made my way to work to help fix the printer.
That was a nightmare in itself.
At half past five, I came home.
I then proceeded to sit on my ass for a couple of hours and then Brandy called.
She had to go to Red Deer to see a doctor.
At ten, we started out.
I was on the run with her until ten this evening and I am officially buggered.
I don't know how, but I managed to survive on one sandwich and a hell of a lot of coffee all damn day.
And now my pillow is screaming at me.

Current Mood: exhausted

I'm sitting her watching 'The Break-Up' and wondering to myself 'what if that happened to me and my old man'.
Seriously, I think it might kill me.
I had the most wonderful supper tonight.
I got to use up some of my fresh lamb and made sheepsies pie.
My old man ate nearly the entire panfull.
It's payday tomorrow!
Yay payday!
Since it's the beginning of the month, I get to go to Wally World and splurge on Shonen Jump and Anime Insider.
I could really use a new pair of jeans too.
I'm going to keep this short because I need to go play Shinobi Legends and see if I can find Kim-chan from ff.net.

Current Mood: bouncy

You know, I have a feeling that every post is going to be made from my couch. 
I'm doing it a little differently today, for you see, I have COOKIES!
Yes, chewy, chocolatey, Rocky Mountain Cookies.
Sooooo good!
I discovered the wonderful World of Warcraft last night, and am watching the woman that played Donna's mum on That 70s Show do an infomercial for a Las Vegas timeshare while waiting for Austin Powers to come back on. 
I love Fat Bastard. 
It's eight twenty five right now, and time for a smoke.
Mmm nicotine.
My old man called me from his mothers place last night.
He has spent the weekend there slaughtering all the livestock.
His mum is moving off the farm and the person that was supposed to buy all the sheeps and goats backed out so they all had to be slaughtered.
Poor sheepsies!
On the plus side, I get fresh lamb! Yay me!
I love lamb roast with mint sauce.
My old man hates it, so I'm guessing it must be an English thing.
Hey, if I'm wrong, feel free to let me know^^
Hot damn Seth Green is hot in this movie!
I posted another pic on DevArt last night totled 'How to spot a Yaoi Fangirl'
Quite informative if I do say so myself, amusing too.
I'm done.

Current Mood: horny

Once again I find myself in my living room as I write this.
I am either here or at work.
Anyone who knows me well enough will tell you that I have no social life.
It's three after six and I decided to do this before I go take a shower and go get ready for work.
Correct me if this is normal, but last night I had to go into work for an hour to teach Caroline month end, a trying process in itsself.
That's not the wierd part, I'm getting to that.
Once we were done, she turned to her boyfriend Jason and told him to 'go home with Rikki.'
Okay, that's the wierd part.
He did though, and we stayed up until seven am watching anime together and talking.
He passed out on my couch.
When I woke up an hour ago, he was gone and I got a call from my friend.
He was having man issues and called me drunk.
We spent almost an hour trying to figure out the name of 'that famous black guy in Bone Collector'
His words not mine.
After we hung up, he texted me and told me that it was Denzel Washington.
I should have known that, I love Denzel Washington.
I also woke up to over one hundred emails.
It was nothing but crap.
My stomach is growling now, so I lit another smoke.
I am too damn comfortable to get off my ass and go make a pizza.
You may call it lazy, but to me, it's comfortable.
I should really go take a shower soon, because when my hair gets wet, I put it up in a sloppy bun and it dries like that.
When I take it out, it's a wavy mess.
Makes me look like I've just been fucked.
But I haven't done that in like a month, considering the fact that I do have a boyfriend.
I've found that the older you get, the less frisky you get.
Four years ago, I would have leapt at the chance to fuck.
And I did, with my two ex boyfriends and even my friend Chelsea.
After I had my kid though, that kind of dwindled out.
I have a beautiful two year old boy named Alfie.
I'll have you know that Alfie is a very traditional English name!
He lives with my mum now though, and he'll be three on december twenty first.
Two days before my grandma turns ninety three.
Strangly, it was my dad that was in the delivery room with me when I had my son, but he's always been there for me.
My dad is like the dad every girl wants but can't have becasue he's mine.
My best friend.
We share tastes in music, he's a fantastic cook and through thick and thin I know he'd be there for me.
The down side to having the perfect father?
He lives a fourteen hour plane ride away.
Yeah, he lives in England still.
As of today, I've been in Canada three years.
My daddy met me at the airport.
He took me out for a burger when I stepped off the plane, and suffered through a twelve hour greyhound bus ride to be there when I got there, and another twelve hour bus ride to bring me home.
I would leap through flaming hoops through that man if he wanted.
I am the definition of daddy's girl.
And I really need a shower.

Current Mood: bored

I'm sitting here in my living room chewing on a plastic spoon and contemplating lighting a cigarette. 
Another cigarette.   
My name is Rikki, I'm 21 years old with a do nothing job, two cats and more random crap cluttering my living room than I know what to do with. 
If you're reading this, then what the hell about me caught your attention?
I've put the spoon down now to light the cigarette and my cats are chasing eachother across my apartment. 
It is now five am.
My MP3 has changed tracks from the angry white boy sounds of Dope, to the almost hyper Japanese sounds of Orange Range.
I don't understand a word of it but I love it anyway.
Well, I understand the odd word, but I study Japanese over the internet until I can find the time to beg my boyfriend to drive me an hour and a half to Edmonton so I can buy tapes.
I'm chewing the spoon againand it is now five after five.
There is a retarded cartoon on TV but I'm too lazy to hunt for the bat to change the channel.
Yes, I call it a bat, not remote...bat.
For some reason, the TV is always on in my house, except when we're out. It get's turned off then.
I should be working my fanfics right now, but I have Shikamaru block.
For you non Narutards reading this (you know you are if you know what a 'Narutard' is), Shikamaru block is named after an extremely lazy  Naruto characer. Shikamaru
A combination of writers block and sheer laziness.
And yes, I am an anime fangirl, meaning I love anime.
It's now a quater after five and I'm lighting another smoke.
I am a chain smoker when I'm at home, doing nothing.
'Hey there Delilah' is playing now.
I adore that song, it's so...I'm not sure what it is, but it's something.
I have the first Friday night in forever off work tomorow and I hope against hope that Brandy doesn't ask me to go to the bar because I'm skint.
For a change.
I put my smoke out and picked up the spoon again.
I work nights at a little hotel called Ceasers Inn here in dreary Drunken Valley, Alberta.
It's really called Drayton Valley, but us natives called it different.
We know better.
I've lived in Drunken Valley for two years now.
And I've been in Canada for three as of tomorrow.
I was eighteen and six months pregnant when I moved to Canada from my native England.
I'd never go back to England after what I've seen here.
Yes, I still have an English accent, for which some of the men that stay at Ceasers think I'm hot because of.
I don't see it, but my boyfriend, Jeep (nickname, not real name) tells me I'm beautiful and all that crap.
I call him a liar and that he only says I'm hot because I sleep with him.
He know's that I'm joking though.
We've been together for two and a half years now and I love him very much. 
I'd do anything he'd ask of me.
I've been working on this post for an entire half an hour now.
Probably the longest I've sat still.
With the exception of my beloved Harry Potter movies.
I go every year and have read every book.
Sad I know, but I love the way she weaves the fantasy.
I can honestly say I love Harry Potter as much as I love my beloved yaoi manga.
Again, for you non anime fans reading this; yaoi is a sexual situation containing two boys.
You may think it's gross, but I think it's hot.
I bet you look something like this right now; XP
Five thirty two and another smoke has found it's way to my mouth and Ohio is for Lovers by Hawthorne Heights is playing.
I think I'm going to leave it there for now.
If you've made it this far, congratulations.
Feel free to tell me what a wierd person I am.
You know what they say though;
Normal is a cycle on a washing machine.

Current Mood: blah